January 2013
1 post
October 2012
2 posts
75 Days of Fatling
All right, chickens! This shit is back on! I started the Beck book in earnest yesterday and elided the first two days of tasks, so today is technically Day 3—Learn to eat sitting down. I have very little issue with eating sitting down, but eating at the table, not in front of the television, is a huge challenge.
Days 1 and 2 are writing my Advantages Response Card and choosing my diet...
76 Days of Fatling
So, clearly, I underestimated how dedicated I am to this here “90 Days of Fatling” plan.
I totally ignored updating this blog, and also completely ignored my desire to lose weight. The good news is that I haven’t particularly gained a lot of weight (although I am retaining a lot right now, most likely due to the ungodly amount of sodium I imbibed over the weekend), but the bad news is that I...
September 2012
5 posts
88 Days of Fatling
Oy. This is hard, everyone! I ran out of time to blog yesterday, and I haven’t had time to even begin getting back on the Beck Diet Solution bandwagon.
Remember how I was all worried that I’d have some miraculous weight loss right after I stopped drinking? Yeah, that didn’t happen (yes, I know it’s only been two days. I’m a child of the 90s. I expect immediate...
90 Days of Fatling
It’s here.
Today is the day my life changes…for at least 90 days. Although I am still feeling pessimistic about my ability to sustain a healthier diet, lower calorie count, and more frequent exercise, I do feel more confident that I can stick it out for three months.
I haven’t done my Beck reading for the day, so I’ll post about that later, but I’ve been thinking a...
90 Days of Fatling (T-Minus 4.5 Days)
I’m not feeling super-optimistic about this project today.
I love eating crappy food. I must, right? That’s why I keep going back to it after short periods of being healthier. Is there a difference between “habit” and “love” in this context?
I’ve never been much for self-control in any context. One of the unfortunate side effects of being raised by...
90 Days of Fatling (T-Minus 5.5 Days)
All right, Fanlings. I’ve been posting the odd book review on here, the random other thingy (I really have no idea what I’ve been posting on here. Did I write an essay? Or was I just thinking about writing an essay and then I got drunk and—)
That’s it. That right there. That sort of parenthetical, rambly, bad decision-making has to stop. It’s time to get in touch...
3 tags
TheFatling’s #CBR4 Review #18: America Pacifica by...
I really wanted to like this one, but unfortunately, author Anna North made that pretty difficult.
Set in a near-future dystopia, the story follows Darcy, a first-generation native of America Pacifica, the island where survivors of a sweeping North American Ice Age have decamped in an attempt to rebuild society. Unfortunately, their founder’s plan to build out the island’s square...
August 2012
3 posts
A Side of Feminism with that Fart Joke
jessicalanglois:
The first sketch of local comedy group Femikaze’s Summer’s Eve showcase, “Go Fuck Yourself,” sets the mood for the evening. A girl asks her mom what do if a boy doesn’t like the way she maintains things down there, and the mom (Carinne Salnave), stirring a bowl of cake batter balanced on her hip, advises her daughter in über wholesome, after-school-special style to give that...
4 tags
TheFatling’s #CBR4 Review #17: Game of Thrones by...
I read all of George R.R. Martin’s “A Song of Ice and Fire” saga in a mad dash last year after being introduced to it through the HBO adaptation of the books. Although I found the detailed descriptions of meals and clothing a bit tedious the first time through, my attempt at a series reread is spinning is wheels due to the pages and pages of elaborate fluff. Of course, the...
6 tags
Person of Fatrest
You didn’t think I meant it before when I said I’d be resuming regular posting again at erratic and unpredictable times, did you? Whether you thought I wouldn’t post again or that I would post on a regimented schedule, you were wrong, dead wrong!
I’m back, Fanlings! Back and blogger than ever! Look, I know that last bit doesn’t actually make any sense, but just go...
May 2012
3 posts
Factling!
Okay, it’s been confirmed that Her Fatness is all caught up on this blog, so I’ll pick up regular posting again at erratic and unpredictable times. Like right now!
I just did a Google search on “the fatling,” because I am very humble (you can tell because I didn’t use any caps). This site is the first result, but I also discovered that, according to the free...
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TheFatling’s #CBR4 Review #16: The Year of the...
I didn’t like The Year of the Flood quite as much as I liked Oryx and Crake, but it’s an excellent second book for Atwood’s Maddadam trilogy (she’s writing the third right now, as she informed CBR and myself on Twitter. Swoon). I do appreciate that rather than a straight sequel, Atwood chose to tell stories that run concurrent with the events of Oryx and Crake. This...
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TheFatling’s #CBR4 Review #15: Cat's Eye by...
I’m going to wax philosophical here. This wasn’t my favorite Atwood book (it was really just a stopgap solution while I waited for The Year of the Flood to arrive at my library), but I so enjoyed the experience of reading it that my lack of enthusiasm for the content didn’t negatively affect my overall view of the book.
In part, it’s just an extension of my lifelong...
April 2012
3 posts
3 tags
TheFatling’s #CBR4 Review #14: Oryx and Crake by...
I’m a huge fan of Margaret Atwood, despite the fact that I’ve only read The Handmaid’s Tale and The Blind Assassin. It’s rare to come across a writer who can build worlds and characters equally well, and her lyrical writing style is absolutely gorgeous. Every time I read one of Atwood’s novels, I am deeply affected, and Oryx and Crake is no exception.
Set in the...
6 tags
TheFatling’s #CBR4 Review #10 #11 #12 #13: The...
My Vertigo tarot deck recently reminded me that I’d been meaning to read The Books of Magic for quite some time (due to some BoM artwork on the cards, my tarot isn’t actually psychic or anything). I’m only four volumes in, and apparently my local library doesn’t have the fifth book. I’m really on the fence about continuing with the series. It hasn’t held up...
TheFatling’s #CBR4 Review #9: The Martians by Kim...
As a fan of Kim Stanley Robinson’s excellent Mars trilogy, which chronicles man’s colonization of Mars in painstaking detail, I had been meaning to read The Martians for quite some time. I read two of the short stories in the collection a while ago, but found myself put off by the fact that one of them (“Maya and Desmond”) didn’t fit into the chronology of the...
March 2012
2 posts
6 tags
The Fatling's #CBR4 Review #8 Is Everyone Hanging...
I’ve read a few books by female comedians over the years, and Mindy Kaling’s is by far my favorite. It’s breezy and fun, assertive without feeling hyperdefensive, and a fascinating look at Kaling’s path to becoming a writer for The Office.
Kaling also owns her femininity, which is refreshing, since many female comedy memoirists seem to classify it as a burden or...
7 tags
The Fatling's #CBR4 Review #5 The Shooting Party...
This book was 100% awful. At only 197 pages, I assumed it would be a breeze to read, only to find myself mired in a swamp of pronouns without antecedents, two-dimensional characters not even a mother could love, and the dullest plot known to man. I’m pretty sure it took me three weeks to finish because I could never find any sort of emotional hook to keep me interested.
Isabel...
February 2012
2 posts
5 tags
TheFatling’s #CBR4 Review #7: Trickster's Queen by...
Tamora Pierce does a lovely job here of tying up her Trickster duet. Duchess Winnamine Balitang, recently widowed, returns to Rajmuat from exile in Tanair with her children Petranne and Elsren, and her stepdaughters Saraiyu and Dovasary. Also with them is the clever Aly Homewood, charged by the raka god Kyprioth to keep the children alive through the winter, and now promoted from lowly maid to...
3 tags
TheFatling’s #CBR4 Review #6: A Stolen Life by...
This was an incredibly tough read. For some reason, when I pulled A Stolen Life off the shelf at my local library, I subconsciously classified this book with other ghostwritten celebrity memoirs—easy, People magazine four-star review stuff over which I could maintain a certain superior aloofness.
Wrong. Dead wrong. I’m ashamed to admit I equated this remarkable book with its trivial,...
6 tags
Up Yours, Downstairs! A "Downton Abbey" Podcast
Thanks to Life’s Distractions for the unsolicited podcast plug! I don’t think I’ve mentioned it here, but Adoring Husband and I are doing a really fun “Downton Abbey” podcast called “Up Yours, Downstairs!” It’s searchable (and free!) in the iTunes Store, and also available at the link below.
lifedistractions:
I recently found this new podcast...
January 2012
12 posts
3 tags
The Fatling & Adoring Husband In: Baby & the City
The following discussion is a brainstorming session on how we can work our hypothetical baby into a video project based on HBO’s Sex & the City:
The Fatling: (In affected baby voice) And I had to wonder…
Adoring Husband: When does a pway date become a pway mawwaige?
The Fatling: Of course, it’ll be a problem if we have a boy baby.
Adoring Husband: Yeah, he’ll have...
The Fatling's New Clothes
Okay, not really. I just got a new template that’s not so hard on the eyes as bright yellow plaid. Plus, it shows my adorable, chunky avatar photo. It’s probably my favorite photo of me ever, because 1) it prominently features pie and 2) you can’t see my face. Enjoy!
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TheFatling’s #CBR4 Review #4: Trickster's Choice...
Trickster’s Choice is an excellent YA fantasy book, and I recommend it very highly.
The story is the first of Tamora Pierce’s Trickster duo and follows sixteen-year-old Aly, whose mother is a famous knight and King’s Champion, while her father is a thief-turned King’s Spymaster. Though her father has trained her in the art of spycraft, he refuses to allow Aly to join him...
7 tags
TheFatling’s #CBR4 Review #3: March by Geraldine...
I probably should have written this review right after I finished the book. It might have squeaked by with two stars, but the longer I thought about Geraldine Brooks’ March, the angrier I got.
First of all, memo to white people. Please stop writing novels about The Civil War. It’s been done to death, and you always, always manage to be really insulting about black people even while...
3 tags
TheFatling’s #CBR4 Review #2: The Magician King by...
Considering how little I enjoyed The Magicians, I was very eager to read Lev Grossman’s sequel, The Magician King. Not because I cared about what had befallen the unpleasant titular hero, Quentin Coldwater, but because I had heard that Grossman gave much of the book over to the harrowing story of Julia, Quentin’s once and future object of affection and modern day rebel sorceress.
The Magician...
12 tags
Running Out of Fat Puns...But Still Not Going...
Why hello, Fanlings! Fancy running into you here—not “running,” per se, per the title, but, you know, inhabiting similar cyberspace.
It’s been a super week here at Fatling HQ. Pauncho Villa was very famous on the internet on Tuesday, which was excellent, and I am booking standup gigs like I might not be a total loser after all. Also, I saw and got to briefly hang out...
4 tags
TheFatling’s #CBR4 Review #1: Through the Wild...
For my first read of the new year, I chose Pogo: The Complete Daily & Sunday Comic Strips, Vol. 1: Through the Wild Blue Wonder, thinking that a collection of comic strips from the 1950s would be a quick and zippy read.
I should have inferred from the complicated title that this would not be the case, but instead found myself pleasantly surprised at how incredibly good Walt Kelly’s...
9 tags
In Order to Create a More Perfect Fatling
Holy shit, Fanlings, I am so bored right now. I don’t think I’d be so aware of my boredom if not for the fact that last night, I whimsically decided to try not to eat any processed foods/foods that come in a plastic bag today. It’s going well, but ironically, the only work-supplied snacks I’ve had do come in plastic bags, but since they are baby carrots, I am letting them...
9 tags
Happy Fat Year
Good news, Fanlings! The Fatling is still in good spirits! I have smoked just over a half-cigarette in the past month and a half, which is pretty good, quitting smoking-wise. I did not enjoy that half-cigarette, no I did not, so I don’t anticipate kicking that up to a full cigarette anytime soon, no matter how drunk I am.
And man, I have been drunk for like 2 weeks in celebration of...
December 2011
1 post
5 tags
The Fitling
“Oh, look, The Fatling’s back! She’s probably embarking on yet another ill-fated round of self-improvement and blogging that will soon devolve into some depressing-ass shit about how sad and unfulfilled she is before The Fatling disappears for months, only to return with an apology and a repeat of the same destructive cycle.”
…is what people would say if they read...
August 2011
1 post
5 tags
Where I'm (F)at
Good evening, Fanlings. How have you been? Mmmm-hmmm. And the kids?
I just came back from a long visit to Fatopolis, visiting The Fatfather, The Fatmother, Fatbrothers 1, 2, and 3, plus a score of other Fat people. I had the pleasure of sharing a few hours in a bookstore with Her Fatness, which was, as she would put it, “lovely.” I also officiated a wedding, which was an...
July 2011
1 post
2 tags
Expecto Fatronum
Happy Harry Potter Day, Fanlings! My, but it is the end of an era, is it not? Single adult women everywhere will have to find a new age-inappropriate obsession. I suggest they get into the Rocky Horror Picture Show. That way they can still get dressed up for a midnight movie, but their chances of getting laid increase exponentially. WHAM! The Fatling: Helping thirty-something virgins get...
June 2011
5 posts
7 tags
Fat Fat Fat Fat Girl
Jesus, I really ought to call this thing my Tumblweed for as often as I opt to update it. The entire interface has changed since the last time I logged in. What commitment issues?
What’s shaking, Fanlings? The Fatling is putting her cankles up after a loooong day of work and housecleaning. The Fatfather and Fatbro III are coming to visit next week and there’s still a LOT that...
5 tags
My New Favorite Tumblr →
Adoring Husband just went downstairs to fetch the aforementioned pizza, so I’ll likely be retiring to the credenza with a slice and my copy of Game of Thrones for the foreseeable future, but before I do that, I want to share with you an amazing site that dovetails nicely with The Fatling’s new pie-centric focus.
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I'm listed in Tumblweeds under pie, television,...
I’m listed in Tumblweeds, a user-generated community directory that rates Tumblr bloggers by their number of followers. Find me listed in #pie, #television, #feminism
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TGI Fatling
I’m pretty sure I’ve used this title before, but it’s hard to say. My short term memory isn’t what it used to…wait a minute, what was I saying?
I’ve been exploring ways to bring the Fatling to more people, Fanlings. Don’t take this the wrong way, but you’re just not enough for me. If things stay the way they are, it will be like Evita if Evita...
8 tags
The Fatling Gets Fatter
Greetings, Fanlings. The Fatling has returned from her travels to Southwest Ohio, a land eternally blanketed in a layer of shredded cheddar cheese.
I ate a lot of food on my trip. A LOT. I ate like it was my job, which, since I was on vacation, I guess it sort of was. But this mastication has taken its toll. Even my super-duper Fatling fatty jeans are too tight now. This is extremely...
May 2011
5 posts
Watch“Urge to kill…fading…fading…fading — rising! Fading…fading…gone.”
Let’s hope this cycle of quitting follows this line of logic.
10 tags
Seething Fatling
The Fatling is jumping back onto the non-smoking wagon, so The Fatling is flying into a fucking rage at the slightest provocation. Just to be clear, by “the slightest provocation,” I mean reading about another person’s success on the internet, taking too long to complete a crossword puzzle, or any other damn thing that has happened to me today.
Not to mention the fact that...
14 tags
The Fatling Frontier
Either Way This Comes Out, We Only Have to Do It Once
At long last, The Fatling returns to make good on her promise of some serious critical writing on the subject of Deadwood, Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman and the Little House series (the books, not the television show of the same title, which don’t even get The Fatling started on).
Tonight, we’ll primarily be comparing and contrasting the...
Boobs Radley: Some of Many Imagined Conversations... →
This is among the greatest things the internet has ever bestowed upon me.
boobsradley:
Scarlett Johansson: “Milk” was great. Sean Penn: Oh, thanks. Scarlett Johansson: No, seriously, you were great in it. Sean Penn: Thank you, it was an honor to work with Gus Van Sant. Scarlett Johansson: Hey, when’s your birthday? Sean Penn: August 17. Scarlett Johansson: Oh, a Leo. That…
4 tags
The Fatling Philosophizes
The Fatling quit smoking again today, Fanlings, which is a good thing. Less good is quitting smoking on the day that my PMS spikes, causing me to dissolve into an angry, nicotine deprived, blubbering hormonal wreck. But I ate some food and slapped on a nicotine patch, so threat levels have essentially returned to normal.
Osama bin Laden was killed by US forces yesterday, which, duh, how could you...
April 2011
7 posts
The Fatling is Coming
Listen, Fanlings, my pioneer commentary is coming, I promise. I have been busy all week with my various real jobs and watching Make It or Break It and Game of Thrones, so, you know, deal.
12 tags
Deadwood Blogging
Some people have religion; the Fatling has Deadwood.
For a long time, the Fatling, like most self-respecting bleeding-heart hipsters, counted The Wire as her favorite HBO series. This despite my belief that only the first three seasons are canon and a pretty strong distaste for the fifth and final season. It’s still a terrific show, and it introduced me to the man candy that is Idris...
