December 2010
15 posts
9 tags
Trigger Warning!
Just kidding. I don’t believe in trigger warnings, Fanlings. Here’s why.
There’s this pervasive attitude in American society that life should never include any suffering. If suffering occurs, every effort is made to sweep said suffering under the rug, never to be spoken of again. As a result, any reminder of past trauma can cause the sufferer to go into paroxysms of misery,...
9 tags
Post from the Past
Fanlings! How are you? I’m back from a recent trip, where I had so many sugarplums dancing in my head that I had to be hospitalized. I’m joking, of course—the sugarplums were in my belly. Now I think they’re on my hips.
At any rate, I have much to report after my holiday cheer, but in the meantime, please to enjoy this post I wrote just prior to traveling, which I...
9 tags
Migraine Monday!
Okay, Fanlings, in the spirit of full disclosure, I do not actually have a migraine today. If I did, I certainly couldn’t blog about it, because the normally loving, comforting glow of my computer’s monitor would transform into a hellish glare, searing my retinas as it increased the pounding pain inside my cranium.
No, I had a migraine all weekend. Now, I don’t know if...
3 tags
16 tags
TGI Fatling!
Good evening, Fanlings! Fanlings? What do you think? I feel like maybe I can do better. But that’s what I said about Adoring Husband, and my laziness usually trumps my creative ambition, so maybe Fanlings is it.
Goodness gracious meatballs, it’s been days since I posted on here! Days! I’ve been working my butt off at jobs where there is no possibility that I can dick around...
6 tags
Why Aren't You Following 'The Feminine Touche?' →
This is my friend Kristina. She is funny and pretty and smart. I’m not giving her an insolent, reductive Fativerse nickname because she’s blogging under her legit-ass name, because she is a legit-ass lady.
Anyway, please to enjoy her recent posting about Weight Watchers’ recent decision to encourage people to eat actual fruit instead of their grainy, disgusting ice cream...
5 tags
The Fatling Wakes
Hi everybody! I don’t have much time, as I have to jet off to one of my two jobs—the very glamorous, very corporate one with an amazing break room. I will have to write a whole different post about the break room, but just to tease you—free Sour Punch Straws! All day! Go, Fatling, go!
No. We will not go there today. Today we will talk about how much I hate waking up in the...
“You know, $10-18 isn’t that much for a pregnancy test. Do they sell them...”
– Adoring Husband, upon reading “The Fatling Frets.”
Following the Fatling
I am now down to one follower. The other one was not actually a robot as I had previously suspected, so maybe she was upset about my misidentification of her human status. Her name was fitndhappie and she is trying to lose a bunch of weight, so I can only assume that she came across my blog and thought I might have some tips or other inspirational crap to help her on her journey.
Nope. Sorry,...
The Fatling Frets
Okay, people, The Fatling is freaking out. Just a hair. See, instead of going to get milk and go to the UPS store to send some birthday gifts back to Amazon.com, I decided to read this article about the birth control pill. Inoccuous enough, right? Wrong.
The Fatling has been taking Seasonique for about two months, Seasonique being the birth control pill where you only have four periods a year...
The Fatling is Backling!
Readers, I hope you like puns. The vampires on True Blood said that as far as vampires are concerned, puns are the highest form of humor, and I tend to agree. I mean, if you’re being ironic, you’re just being mean in funny clothing. If you’re being hyperbolic, you’re being angry in funny clothing. If you’re being punny, however, you are being clever and adorable...
